Fantasy???

A Conservative Turns Liberal??

A WARNING: Closed minds, liberal, conservative or moderate, will not readily understand these words. If you think them a bit harsh, extreme and over the top I suggest you consider CAREFULLY the latest words of the liberals mentioned in the first paragraph, to the editorial pages of the New York Times and to the rants on moveon.org. These words are actually a very small extrapolation of their words and are definitely in the same vein. For those from Rio Linda, this is what’s called a parody.

To sincere liberals: You may not like these words, but there are increasing numbers of Americans who see liberal Democrats as hate filled enemies of America in just this way. If you don’t like these words, I suggest you step back from your own prejudices and take a look at the direction the liberal Democrat party is heading. How HATE! has become their watchword and deception their guide. Do you really see those individuals mentioned in the first paragraph as the leaders you would be proud to follow?

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To all my liberal, conservative and moderate (mugwump) friends and family:
I have finally gotten the message. This formerly mostly conservative individual has decided to convert to the liberal side. I have listened thoughtfully to the carefully crafted words of those wonderful Americans, Ted Kennedy, Howard Dean, Louis Farakhan, Robert Byrd, Harry Reid, Al Sharpton, Barbara Boxer, Chuck Schumer, Charley Rangle, Nancy Pelosi, Jessie Jackson, the Clintons and most recently, Dick Durbin and Cynthia McKinney. I have finally caught the true wisdom, compassion and selflessness of their impassioned call for real Americans to stand up and join the noble liberal cause. Like any loyal liberal I promise to listen to, view and read only those with proven liberal agendas. I will refuse to hear, see or read anything that disagrees with our marvelous liberal philosophy. I will only have friendships with liberals and will cut off all those who don’t share our liberal views. I will leave our little country church and join an atheist ethical society with liberal values. Then I won’t know a single person who voted for that evil George Bush and his Republican cronies.

Thank you Katrina and Rita! These wonderful storms have provided us with many more opportunities to bash Bush and the Republicans. In the first place we can blame Bush for the storm because of his global warming strategy. Since so many of the New Orleans residents who couldn’t get out of town in time were black we have made it a race issue to prove how Bush hates blacks. With Jessie Jackson, Louis Farakhan, Charley Rangle and Al Sharpton screaming their racial hatred rhetoric, our media can blast away at Bush, conservatives, Republicans and the current administration as being inept and maybe downright criminal in their poor response to the drowning of New Orleans blacks. Unfortunately the twenty-five thousand body bags sent to Louisiana turned out to be a bit of overkill as only a few hundred bodies have been found so far. Whatever the count we can still blame Bush for the countless inhumane deaths of so many poor people. It’s unfortunate that the predictions of thousands dead by our friends in the media didn’t turn out to be true. Their reporting of untrue rumors about murder, rape and shootings as fact succeeded in making things worse for a while. Fortunately, people will remember the early sensational reports and mostly ignore the retractions. The fact that these false reports caused FEMA to hold off for the protection of their people will never be reported so we can still blame them for their slow response.

Never mind that Louisiana has received the most money of any state for Army Corps of Engineers projects. (I wonder where all that money went?) It was still Bush’s fault that all that money was not used to raise and strengthen the dykes as has been recommended for more than thirty years. Never mind that the city didn’t implement its own detailed evacuation plans and never used the many busses that were available before the storm hit. Bush must have scuttled all those busses, especially those that were used during the last election to carry voters from the black neighborhoods to poling places. The media will downplay that while concentrating on the slow response of the federal government. All in all Katrina and Rita have proven to be wonderful fodder for our propaganda mills. So what if it resulted in death and misery for some poor and helpless people, the most important thing is that it provided us with countless new opportunities to expand our hate rhetoric against Bush and the Republicans and will keep our voter base from learning the truth and deserting.

The problem about the New Orleans police having only about two thirds of the active duty police that were reported to the federal government seems to have been handled well by our media friends. What happened to all that federal money the city was supposed to be using to pay the non-existent police and how that information was kept secret will never see the light of day just like all that Corps of Engineers money. Our media friends will never mention it and will brand as liars those enemies of ours that do. Then when axed FEMA head Brown talked about the dysfunctional state and local governments - our good liberal Democrat friends in Louisiana - our media friends ignored the facts and branded him as having sour grapes and trying to shift the blame off of himself.

In spite of Katrina getting all the attention, I am pleased to see that Guantanamo Bay remains a focus of success in our attacks on the Bush Administration’s illegal war. As long as we continue to pound away at the realities of this torture camp our purpose will be served. Even a few Republicans are joining our band wagon. This is really beginning to help those wonderful freedom fighters in Iraq and Afghanistan. With our aid in destroying confidence in the US military on the political side, these loyal freedom fighters have increased their attacks on both military and government workers of the US and the puppet regimes in Iraq and Afghanistan. They are encouraged by our constant condemnation of America’s illegal occupation of their land. With our help, they may yet return the Taliban and even Saddam Hussein and his Baathists to power. With Al Queda freedom fighters so encouraged by the words of our liberal politicians I am sure they will succeed.

I’d like to thank the main stream media and especially the New York Times, the LA Times, NBC, ABC and CBS and all their affiliates for their unrelenting campaign against the illegal war in Iraq and the Bush administration. By concentrating on the killings by the freedom fighters and ignoring all the positive results in Iraq, our main stream media are beating down the spirit of Americans here at home. Fortunately, they are completely ignoring the growing amount of evidence being found about Al Queda connections with Saddam Hussein and WMDs being moved to Syria and Iran. By continuing to do so, they can continue to accuse Bush of lying to justify going to war in Iraq. We are encouraged that the constant diatribes of our liberal politicians and the never ending media barrage against the war is picked up by our friends at Al Jazeera to encourage the Al Queda freedom fighters. Another year of concentration on the evil American military and all the atrocities they are committing and we’ll have those cursed conservatives and militarists on the run.

Our media campaign to drive the country into a recession is also having increasing success. In spite of the continuing real growth in jobs and unemployment lower than during most of the Clinton administration, our leaders keep pounding on the word, recession! recession! recession! With our lackeys in the media continuing to call the economy the worse since the great depression, the ignorant American peasants are becoming more and more depressed. One recent poll showed fear of job loss to be the number one concern of Americans. It made me chuckle as I realized this is a phenomenal result of our media campaign. Thanks to the lack of knowledge of our increasingly ignorant populace, it’s becoming much easier for us to instill fear and hatred into their simple minds. Our efforts in the education system to dumb down the American people is showing increasing success. This coupled with the constant growth of illegal immigration is overloading our health care, education and welfare systems. The collapse of these systems will hasten the collapse of the hated capitalist system in America and encourage more hatred against the capitalists by the serfs, I mean common people.

Another tactic valuable to our cause is gaining momentum thanks to our friends in the media who follow and promote our actions. This tactic involves accusations of mischief or criminal activity by those on the right. No matter how questionable or baseless are our charges, our media friends will pick them up and act as if they are proven facts. Should we find the slightest hint of a possibility there could be bad activity we will call for a congressional investigation and a special prosecutor and then go ballistic and call for their heads. Since any activity that helps our cause is good and just we will do everything in our power to minimize it no matter how unethical or criminal it is. Those 700 or so FBI files that just appeared in the Whitehouse during the glorious Clinton administration is a good example of how our media friends can bury those things for us. Remember the liberal rule of definition: anything that favors our causes or agrees with our beliefs is true, good and intelligent. Naturally, anything that favors conservative, patriotic American or Republican causes or agrees with their beliefs is untrue, evil or stupid . After all, aren’t those who agree with us and support us good people with fine minds while those who disagree with us are lying, evil, stupid dolts?

We must use all means possible to stop appointments of any federal judges who might disagree with our positions. Only those who agree completely with the ACLU have a right to be confirmed. We will make all manner of accusations against any possible appointee who does not share our perfect liberal philosophy. Remember, accusation is all we need, regardless of the true facts. Once we make those accusations, our friends in the media will trumpet them as if they are true no matter how baseless they may be. We don’t care how much damage is done to our nation or the people. The only thing that matters is that we regain the positions of power we had when Johnson was president and both houses of Congress were under our control. We must continue to accuse the Republicans of voter fraud and of cheating in elections (even as our Democrat machines in the big cities succeed in stealing millions of votes without a single word from the media). Maybe we had better not brag about that as Mayor Daly did during the Kennedy election, at least not until we are back in power.

In closing I would like to remind all liberals that our mantra is, “No lie is too evil, ridiculous or vulgar if it promotes our agenda.” I will reiterate our short term goals as:

1. Regain power by any possible means no matter how it damages our country.

2. No matter how good it is for our country, oppose and discredit any and all actions by Republicans or conservatives by any and all means possible.

3. Discredit anything Republicans accomplish no matter how good it is.

4. Promote hate for anything and anyone who disagrees with our agenda.

5. Continue to provide political aid to the freedom fighters in Iraq and help them defeat America and drive American troops from their soil. Remember, if America succeeds in Iraq it will be a huge success for the Bush administration and will set our agenda back for years.

6. Continue to repeat word for word the mantras coming from George Soros.

7. Use peace marches and protests to preach hate and violence like Georgia Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney did at the recent Washington protest.

And of course, remember our long range goals:

1. Complete destruction of the America capitalist system.

2. Complete destruction of the American military.

3. Complete removal of all Republicans, conservatives, Christians and their followers from any positions of power in all American organizations of any kind.

4. Complete destruction of the power of religion in America.

5. Complete destruction of the American family and replacement with government for all American serfs.

6. Adoption of atheist socialism as the power structure in the United States.

When our revolution is over and the power is in the hands of our glorious socialist people, things will be very different than under those capitalist dogs. We elite socialist government members will control everything without interference of self serving capitalist bosses. The grand homes we will live in, the expensive cars we drive, the dream vacation villas we use, will all rightfully belong to the people, not to wealthy individuals. We will own nothing, merely have their use as reward for our service to the people. The common folks will proudly serve us, their glorious leaders, knowing there are no longer any wealthy capitalists stealing money from the people.

I will close with a quote from one of our good European friends. A noted French government official, explains why he hates America and George W. Bush

“I hate George Bush’s America because Bush Americans are so arrogant they think English is the only language. They use outdated religious principals to make judgements. Why don’t they embrace atheist socialism as we have and enjoy the glories of freedom from religious restraints?

“When they invaded Iraq they cut off billions of dollars we were getting from Saddam Hussein and the UN ‘oil for food’ program. I actually had to stop construction on my vacation home on the French Riviera for lack of funds. For the same reason I’m unable to buy my wife the Ferrari I promised her and she may actually have to attend the next official soiree in a dress she has worn once before. It’s positively horrid what those cowboy Americans have done.”

We should follow the example of this good friend of ours. I realize I may not live long enough to view the coming changes, but at least I have the vision and foresight to see it coming and abandon old, worn out conservative, free enterprise capitalism.

With a newly enlightened mind and changed allegiance I say bravo to liberals and atheistic socialists everywhere.

Howard Johnson

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A SPECIAL NOTE TO MY LIBERAL FRIENDS AND FAMILY:

If these words brought on an angry, or fearful response, I suggest you do a reality check on your own political thoughts and prejudices. You may spend so much of your time in such a cloistered group of other liberals that you have no idea what so many other Americans think and believe. I was recently told by one very liberal person that I was the only person they knew who planned to vote for George Bush in the recent election. That and some other remarks lead me to believe that this person has a totally closed mind and walks in political lock step with the group listed at the beginning of this little essay. I seriously doubt they ever listen to anyone outside the liberal camp. A mind that completely shuts out any expressions, opinions or beliefs that differ from their own or who accepts only those that agree will soon be crippled by mental inbreeding.

These individuals - indeed, all individuals of any persuasion - should sometimes listen to words that haven’t come through the finely tuned filter of their own prejudices. There are increasing numbers of people who see the liberal Democrats as those who would destroy America and “bring her to her knees.” They see “peace” marches and protests as vehicles used by bitter anti-Americans to denounce our nation with words of hatred and incitement to riot and violence. I fear these forces bent on the destruction of capitalism and free enterprise in America have taken control of the Democrat party.

The nearly forty years our nation was controlled by liberalism should be judged by the results of those forty years. The following has happened in America during that period:

1. Our education system has gone from the best in the world to so far down we are now among many third world nations. We have a very small percentage of our graduates in the fields of science or math - much less than many nations and especially China.

2. The poor, mostly minorities, have stayed relatively poor in spite of massive “give them a fish” programs.

3. The federal government has become far more intrusive into all of our lives.

4. The American family structure has been seriously and systematically destroyed. This is particularly apparent in many minorities.

5. Our college campuses have become a seething hotbed of hatred and contempt for religion, capitalism, conservative Republicans and even America.

About this parody: If it brought a laugh or smile of understanding to your face then you comprehend and are a true human being. You are also quite capable of chuckling at the antics of the bunch I mentioned in the first paragraph and their conservative contraparts; at Rush Limbaugh and Al Franken, at Sean Hannity and Alan Combes, and even at the talking heads and Bill O’Reilly and - - - well, you know what I mean.

The only difference I can see between the words of those mentioned and many more like them on right and left is the seething hatred coming from the left. I see no counterpart on the right to, for instance, the words of Democrat chairman Howard Dean who said, and I quote, “I hate Republicans, I hate conservatives and I hate Rush Limbaugh.” He might well have added that he hates all Americans who don’t agree with him.

Howard Johnson

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